My heart’s desire and prayer, that they might be saved.

Paul’s, words, speaking of the Israelites in Romans 10.  

It was my prayer for my family.   

They have all passed on now, I trust I will see them, in time.

I wonder, what is my hearts desire, my prayer, today?   Does it compare to Pauls?   Is it a prayer the Lord longs to answer?

Unfortunately NO.  

I write, because I am a frustrated preacher.  I teach the Word, but long for more.  (Lord, forgive me).    Lord, help me to be content, with where  I am, (physically), and draw me closer, (spiritually).

After Bible School, licensed, then ordained, and sent forth.  I was on fire.  People who had no interest in Jesus, would flee at the mere mention of my arrival.  (No Joke)

My desire, to see people healed, set free, for people to be saved.

I spent a time in Canada, with a new friend and Pastor, John Benschop.  He was gracious, I was full of pride, (I, was destined for greatness)… lol… 

 Yet I was sure, that everyone who knew the Lord knew more than I.   I burned myself out, by not continuing to dig in the Word.  I thought what little I understood, was all there was.  (A real contradiction).

It took time, and another failure, as a Pastor, for the fire to be snuffed out.

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

I gave place to the devil.   I did not fall into sin, … I continued to love the Lord and pray. … I  just could not seem to draw close.  

Daily, my prayers would hit the ceiling and bounce back… My plea, wasn’t heard.  I’d lift my Bible and cry out for relief.   

THERE WAS NO RELIEF. 

The real problem was… (silence please) …. I needed to open that Bible.  

I wanted the Lord to do it all.  Change me, empower me, annoint me.  Not realizing, I needed to find the way to be transformed.  I needed more of His Word within.

If we continue to read and study, His Word, we find we pray less for our needs or wants.  As we draw closer to God, by seeking first His Kingdom and Righteousness, He supplies all our needs.

“He gives us the desires of our hearts.”

How do we seek His Kingdom, His Righteousness?   By knowing and praying His will.

Praying that our eyes, ears, hearts and mind, would be open to the Lords prompting, to hearing, His voice.   

We hear His voice, in reading His Word.

We must study, as well as fast and pray….  We need to desire to be made into His likeness.  

To become like Him.

I still desire to live and walk in His will, under His guidance and direction, seeing the Work of His Might and Power displayed. 

For too long, I was disappointed with God.  When the real disappointment was me.

Lord, help.   Amen