I used to laugh at my brother as he aged and his hair and beard constantly went from grey to an unnatural brown.  How vain is he? I  thought to myself…..not me.

I was always skinny,  I could eat anything and not gain weight.  Then I  turned thirty and somehow a pot belly had appeared.   That’s ok, my wife married me anyway.

My grey, now, that implyed only wisdom,  not age.  No problem.

Then eating regular,  suddenly I was overweight.   An impossibly I was sure,  till I looked in the mirror or tried to see my feet. 

That was bad enough.

Then my belly erupted. …no hair dye would help, exercise, (not gonna happen), I was stuck and unhappy.   Then it got worse.

First, a foolish lift of a heavy piano, I felt it, something ripped. My beautiful dime sized belly button slowly evolved into a tennis ball attached to an already over sized waist.

Then a kidney removed. I thought I would have a indentation,  nope, a small ripple, a roll was on my side.  Now 7 years later it is a soccer ball.  

I find myself a side show,  pay your 25 cents and see the deformed human.  I am really ashamed of my shape.  Even if I, at this late date, exercised and lost a lot of this belly,  I would still have a tennis and soccer ball with me at all times.

Vain? You bet.  Ashamed? Absolutely.  Wanting to hide?  Yep. 

Vain and ashamed incorporated.   Forgive me Lord.

“and they followed vanity, and became vain”

Lord, help me to follow You.

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know you are loved